dubby

hey u manglers out there world wide, since i started this clothing line my beautiful baby boy of just over 3yrs old has passed away. it came so suddenely were still in shock. i gave up everything i was and had, and more to come to this supposed best hospital in the world and i still couldnt fix him. once again i am totally devistated and destroyed, but waaaaaay worse then any other time in my life. he taught me everything about myself, how to love , how to live just for the love of another...the void is eternally plastered in time and on my body and soul. once again i am faced with my never ending battle that life has givin me...mangle? or die...and if i didnt have a wife and 10 mnth old that need me so bad id blow my face off so fast in hopes of maybe going to the utopia Im forced to think of him in otherwise ill flip out. i choose immediately to mangle, for him. to spend the rest of my days devoting my time and money to familys struggling with childhood leukemia and research and awhareness. there is such a lack of knowledge of the rampant increase of childhood leukemia and it tares these kids to pieces. doctors r total goofs for the most part, parents have no idea of their rights, and get walked all over, aswell as the kids themselves dont allways get wat they need. so i choose life and to make my son proud and honor his legacy until im satisfyed hes been fully respected to his potential. i will never be the same. nor will my wife, we dont even know wat to do withought him, im so lost and saddend that i cant even rant and rave today. to u my love of my life Harley Bruce Dornan junior, the absolute love of my life that taught me to be a better stronger healther person. i salute u and can only humbally ask u for guidance and compasion and the time i need to heal. i love u more then any one will ever know, goodbye my sweet baby brilliant before his time little boo boo.
today i got a sign, a little 6yr old boy wiped out beside me and my wife on the streets of nyc's upper east side. He was ripping around on a little scooter thing like a lunitic and allmost bailed several times. I could just feel him going to wipe out so badly, he had a helmet on but rush hour traffic, and a mother 50 ft behind him on the phone doesnt do to much good. I kept mumbling ,annoyedly to myself ,ur gonna fuckin bail kid fukkk wtf is ur mother doing!!!...as if like clockwork he wiped out so badly, face plant on the pavement, his teeth all went thru his lips, his entire mouth was pouring blood and teeth and lips totally wide open and mangled. I jumped down as did my wife and took his small head that reminded me of my little shaved baby DUB's hair and I rubbed it ever so softly, whispering ur ok sweety, and dont worry about a thing little boo boo. Of course his mom looked at us like who the fuck r u guys!!!! ahahahaha I pulled down my shirt and showed her my tattoo of my recently passed son and looked her in the eyes and said dont worry, we know what were doing, she just said ok...A store owner ran out with a first aid kit and I made my wife find the proper medical bandage that wont stick to a tender cut like a lip. then I said get me saline solution, cmon it has to be in there! She found two canisters of saline and I opened both and drenched the special padded cut absorbat cloth, then gave it to the mom and said dont worry hold this to his lip and mouth, it wont stick and it'll keep it clean and moist and germ free until the emergency room...
I ran and grabbed a cab, made it back up 40ft and threw him a 20 and said "cornell emergency at first and york asap ok?? a kids hurt ok??" he said yes no problem. I walked them to the cab and said dont worry its all taken care off heel take u there right now first and york, I promise its gonna be fine. and they drove off...
I stood there looking at the blood all over the pavement, and the scooter and helmet we left at the hairdressers, who gave us the first aid kit. I wondered if that was my sons first sign to me? He hasnt come to me yet in a dream or another very obvious way like im expecting, or did he just let me fix a child, and let me give all my love for him, to a little boy, that needed someone. A person randomly at that time who's calm as hell under pressure and practically a paramedic ater the 2+ years of medical proceedures I have performed on my son, simply because he wouldnt let anyone else do it and was too dam strong...I dont know man , but it made me feel good to help someone else and a mother that froze because she was so scared for her little baby boy. I handled it, fixed him up, sent him on his way in a matter of minutes and it filled me with joy for a brief second to do so...
What do u want me to do sweety??! My little DUB's angel, what have u got planned for me, what will make u proud, cas ill do it, ill do anything, its the only reason I go on right now is to figure out how to honor u properly for the rest of my life....today I got a sign...